How to breaking up and keep your self-respect

Break ups hurt.

This is a undeniable truth about break ups and it's the number one reason why most people avoid doing it. There are a lot of strategies out there that guarantee that you don't have to break the news and nobody would get hurt. Amongst them are the 'cut-out', 'make-them-hate-me' and 'ignore' methods. I'm sorry to say, with those strategies somebody will get hurt, but it's just not you. The price of cowardice while breaking up is that that person will be hurt more by your actions and ultimately lose their respect for you. This could also lead to others you never met feeling the same way about and finally bite you in the ass for something that happened years ago.

So how do you avoid that from happening?

1. Accept that Breaking up will always hurt

No matter how much you to plan around it, avoid it and run from it. It will always hurt. This however doesn't mean that this hurt is a bad thing that needs to be avoided at all costs. In fact it hurts less just to come out and just break up. Accepting of the fact that it will hurt makes thing easier when it comes to the time to facing the idea that it's really over. It's also puts you your mind at ease and allows you to identify why things need to end, which makes it easier to explain when the time comes to break up.

2. Do the Break up personally

No matter what other people say, the best way to break up with somebody is face to face or at least in some other personal way (like a phone call - but don't hang up after you told them!). There are a lot of tricks out there that says it's better to avoid them, make them break up with you by making their life hell, or just plain cutting them out of your life. It's not and only really helps you feel better while being devastating to the person on the receiving end. The best way is still to go to the person, tell them that you don't think things are working out, that you loved the time you spent together and that you think it's time for both of you to move on. It's hard to do, yes, but it leaves no question in the air like other methods and doesn't berate or embarrasses the other person in any way. It also allows the chance of friendship later in life between with your ex, where the other methods not only makes that impossible, it also gives you a bad reputation if done repeatedly. So own up and do it personally.

3. Be prepared for the post-dating relationship

Sometimes you may go back to friendship with a ex or have to work with them and having been in a relationship, this could feel awkward. The thing to remember here is that you will have feelings for this person and will always have some form of attraction to them. This isn't wrong and there is nothing wrong with it, just don't mistake it for more than it is, which is affection towards a friend.
Sometimes the break up may have gone sour or this person is really destructive to themselves and you. This best tactic with these people is to be civil, but with the ultimate aim to cut them out of your life. It's a cruel thing to do, but it maybe the best thing for you to do until, if ever, this person sort out their lives.

Relationships are hardest when they come to a end, but we always have a choice on how we end them. Nobody said it was easy or permanent. The best relationships are those friendships that can come from break ups, but the first step is to make this known. Don't put it off and do it personally and face to face, people will respect you more if you do.