The Myths about sex

Sex isn't a quick-fix.

There is a lot of talk about sex these days and it does sell because we have a thriving sex industry, yet for some reason we forget to teach and be taught what sex won't do. I'm not talking about abstinence here, because I feel it's just as much to blame as anything else, but because we must examine these myths to move beyond them.

These myths are:
1. Sex is evil except in marriage
2. Sex will save relationships

1. Sex is evil except in marriage

I don't disagree with the idea of abstinence, but the main problem with this mentality is that people abstain from all forms of sex. This is dangerous in any form of abstinence and creates a greater risk of falling into the mental trap that society sets for us. This is also true of teaching our children that sex is evil, dirty or wrong. I believe the true solution to curbing teenage pregnancies is not by taking these extreme mentalities or by creating childish laws that forbid teenagers from even kissing, but to instead teach responsible sex.

Teaching responsible sex is a two way street, it requires us to be honest about sex and teach about it honestly. It requires us not to seek the easy route out of teaching our children, by forcing them to abstain nor to make them feel guilty or believe wrongly of sex, but to teach them what sex won't do and what it does do. It's about teaching the lighter side of sex too while allowing yourself to be human and to laugh about it.

2. Sex will save relationships

There are no quick-fixes in relationships and the worst thing you can do in self-destructing relationship is to have sex. If talking fails or your partner is putting pressure on you to have sex, know that right after you two have sex, the relationship is over. You'll either be to ashamed to face each other or finally realise that things truly is over. The simple reason being that sex can't fix something that's already broken.

Sex also won't change you or your partner. This seems to be what makes people believe that sex can save relationships. That by some strange magic that only sleeping together can generate, you and your partner will suddenly be different people. It's unlikely, even with months of therapy and won't ever make you feel better about yourself nor make your partner stay.

There are many more myths about sex, but ultimately by teaching responsible sex and understanding that sex isn't a quick-fix, we'll move beyond the current extremes while dealing with it. By advocating the truth about sex, we will find that our children will be more responsible regarding sex and hopefully they won't make the same mistakes our parents did with us.